sad times ( last bits is not for the faint hearted)

I've had a rough few months. and they got worse

and last night i had the worst shock of my life.

my nan forgot who i was, she's losing her mind now.

my granfather hates me because im only doing a "proper2 job part time and my tattooist job the other part of time.

it doesnt matter that i work 6 days a week every week, im still not good enouh to make him happy.

The guy i fell hard for stoped talking to me a while ago, decided he didnt want a girlfriend, but was ok to use me to make himsef look good, untill i said no.

then i was seeing another guy who i actually liked, and i was amazed as i havnt liked anyone else in the three years since i met the guy i fell hard for.

anyway he used to text me constantly, but when we thought i might be accidently pregnant, it all sort of came lose, and he hardly texted me back. so i was upset at that, thiking id done something wrong.

then he turned and said I!! i was too clingy. ayway he decided that he didnt want a girlfriend right now, as hes stressed, but was adamant he wasnt using me.

anyway it all kickedoff last night when we where out, as he hardly spoke to me.

in the midle of our argument he said "fine, if i didnt care i wouldnt b here, id be doing this" and went to walk away accross the road..as he said tht therewas a girl calling his name from the other side of the street. only he didnt know her, and it turned out she was calling another jamie. anyway, as she ran over the crossing, i stoped jamie and said please try and sort this out.dont walk away, as i said that i saw her run and at the exact moment he turned back and walked towards me

a taxi came at about 40 miles an hour and hit her so hard she flew about 4 feet into the air like a puppet.

i screamed and ran to see her but she wasnt moving.

the jamie she was calling turned out to be her fiancee and was very drunk, he was nealing over her trying to talk to her and balling his eyes out. i kept telling him not to ouch her while jamie caled an ambulace.

she was breating heavily and blood was comming out of her mouth.

she tried to move her arm after a while and made a hrrible moaning sound, but im pretty sure that was just her body being in shock, shewasnt conscious at all.

anyway the ambulance came and took her, and the police anted a statement from me as i was the only one who atually saw it, and believe me, i wish i hadnt.

anyway i was obviously shook up and amstill in shock, jamie hugged me and told me he was sorry and let me go with my friend kayleigh.as she offered to take me home. but he wouldnt come with me.

even after everything he didnt come.

i just kept thinking what could hae happend if i hadnt of stoped him. it would have been him.

he told me this orning there's no point in rying to sort anything, so that just added to my shock.

i just feel so ill, and keep thinking of the noise and the vision of her flying.

Darceydollface's Journals

sad times ( last bits is not for the faint hearted)